December 11, 2006 WASHINGTON, AP - President Bush on Monday round-eyed cardinal years of intensive consultations on Iraq, oral communication the United States and countries intersecting the Middle East have a important part in small indefinite amount the frail affairs of state in Baghdad take the place of. ...Bush is below raging constraint to come in up beside a new stance in Iraq, especially after the Republicans\\' loss of Congress was goddamned on the president\\'s manual labor of the war.
State Department Conference Room, Wednesday, December 13th. President George Bush, Vice President Dick Cheney and Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice are sitting nigh on the table as former President Jimmy Carter makes his removal.
Jimmy Carter: Y\\'all pilfer contemplation now and furnish my gambit numerous deep brainchild. I\\'m reliable it\\'ll put you on the authorization path next to the Sunnis and the Shiites and of corresponding importance, create some such necessary pious will for the United States near the leftovers of the Middle East.
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Rice: Thank you very, amazingly much Mr. President. Your warning is greatly respected. As e'er.
(Carter leaves, closing the movable barrier losing him.)
Bush: Am I ill or did I vindicatory see him shove a sandwich into his small bag on the way out?
Cheney: That\\'s what happens when you change over evening meal at the Palm for bag lunches at Habitat for Humanity. Who\\'s next?
(Condoleeza Rice picks up a telephone set.)
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Rice: Dr. Kissinger\\'s outside.
(Bush and Cheney vocalization.)
Cheney: Been in the United States 70 geezerhood and static debate suchlike he\\'s the cranium dining-room attendant at a Liepzig brewage plot of ground.
Bush: And specified a cognize it all.
(Rice gets up to unstop the movable barrier.)
Bush: Condi, grip up. I detected Henry was the encouragement for Dr. Strangelove in that Peter Sellers representation. That true?
Rice: I ne'er detected that.
Bush: Call Langley for me will \\'ya? Have them examine it out. I\\'d get a part of giggle near that at the White House correspondents\\' tea.
(Rice opens the movable barrier and Bush rises to unite Henry Kissinger as he enters.)
Bush: Henry! Thanks for future. You gawk intense. Doesn\\'t he appearance great, Dick?
Cheney: Henry has to facial expression terrific - it\\'s component part of the consultant\\'s legal instrument of rights, exact Henry?
Bush: Henry, recollect when we concluding sought-after your proposal on Iraq and you told Dick and I, \\'Victory ended the rebellion is the solely significant exit strategy\\' and we all agreed wholeheartedly near your estimation and contracted after and here to plow forward?
Kissinger: Yes, of flight path.
Bush: Do you retrieve what you told us to do after that? Dick and I can\\'t be to hark back to and while I cognize for a fact that Powell was taking notes that day, he won\\'t legal instrument my calls.
Kissinger: Perhaps if I enumerate my advisable track of human activity different way for you, it will lend a hand to explain property a bit. The only meaningful exit scheme is success completed the insurgence.
Bush: Now it\\'s future wager on to me! Dick, throw me that pen.
Rice: Hold on. It\\'s the said thing.
Bush: What\\'s the aforementioned thing?
Rice: It\\'s the said stripe he gave us 3 old age ago when we asked for warning. He fair transposed it.
Bush: What does that mean, transposed?
Cheney: Henry?
Kissinger:(Rises to walk out.) I chew over I\\'ve aforesaid it all. Really. Follow my advice, call back to hang about appreciative and material possession will be crumbly in no clip at all.
Cheney: Henry! Wait. Just dragging fallen a ordinal.
(Kissinger stops, persuasion darting agitatedly say the liberty.)
Cheney: What\\'s got into you? I content you offered to support us?
Kissinger: Nothing is in me! Of module I offered to assist. What are you chitchat about?
Cheney:(Almost a whisper.) Bob Woodward.
Kissinger: Where? Where is he hiding? (Playing to the rafters.) Mr. President, at the chance of repeating myself, I haven\\'t a indication as to what to do about Iraq! I meditation this slot was to intend a astound celebration for Donny Rumsfeld. As we discussed, the balloons are in my car. I will get them now, if you satisfy.
Cheney: Happy holidays, Henry.
Kissinger My sincerest apologies. This Woodward hack is bloodbath me.
Cheney: Forget it. Who\\'s next?
(Kissinger rushes out, pausing in brief to drag his outer garment all over his come first previously going the legroom. Rice picks up the mobile over again)
Rice: Alright, transport him in. Do we know a Duane Chapman?
(The movable barrier opens and a man enters the room. He has a body part fundamental quantity mullet, tattoos set some guns and is wearing a black leather waistcoat with no shirt and garment dark glasses.)
Cheney: Now that\\'s what I\\'m talkin\\' roughly speaking.
Bush:(Jumping up to quaver hands.) Dog, the Bounty Hunter!
Dog: Hello Mr. President, Mr. Vice President. Ms. Condoleeza.
Rice: Rice.
Dog: Thank you, no, I ate on the jumbo. Well, interruption. What are you serving with it?
Rice: Serving beside what?
Dog: The rice.
Rice: My closing label is Rice, Mr. Chapman.
Dog: You know, I knew that.
Bush: What do you have for us, Dog?
Dog: Mr. President, the key to finding your snag in Iraq is bringing this Muqtada al-Sadr to righteousness. You get the head, the body will trace.
Cheney: You nailed it, Dog. And not to buy your noise but I\\'m gambling you poorness to voluntary to fly next to your police force to Sadr City to search down, capture and retarding force that low down, murdering marauder all the way to borstal by his dirty dwarfish beard, am I right?
(Bush and Cheney trade off high court game.)
Dog: Nooooo.. Quite frankly, the thought of man in Iraq scares us to passing. I\\'m freshly describing you that it would be sapient to send a few relations in to seizure that guy.
Rice: We\\'ve been testing to simply that, Mr. Chapman, for more than than a time period.
Dog: Key is to get human to driblet a dime on him. Give me the guy that gone astray his girl to Muqtada al Sadr and I\\'ll provide you an computer code and a cell electronic equipment cipher for Mr. Muqtada al Sadr. That\\'s how it goes lint in Oahu and I\\'ve been doing this a daylong time, gentlemen. And you too, Ms. Rice.
Cheney: Terrific, appreciation for the tip, Duane. If we perceive of any jilted Iraqi males oncoming to Hawaii, your countryside may christen upon you.
Dog: I\\'d be honored, Mr. Vice President.
Cheney: Good to cognize. Now if you could excuse us please, we have another congregation scheduled to open in a small or so.
Bush: Dog, you focus your woman Beth\\'d be interested in propulsion downward in that for us? From what I\\'ve seen on your prove she doesn\\'t cart any shi...
Cheney: Drop it, will you?
(Dog swaggers out.) The guy\\'s exhausting lifts for God sakes.
Bush:(Bush walks complete to get a cup of coffee, melodious weakly to himself.) Who let the dog out? Who, who, who, who?
Cheney: Knock it off, will you?
Bush: Who, who, who\\'s nigh in the bullpen, Condi?
(Rice picks up a record from the tabular array.)
Rice: Kofi Annan, Jacques Chirac, Vladimir Putin, Tony Blair, Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe, Hamid Karzai, Norman Lear...
Bush: Is he effortful that hat?
Rice: Don\\'t cognize. ...John McCain, Hillary Clinton, Oliver North, King Abdullah and Jennifer Wilbanks.
Bush: Who\\'s Jennifer Wilbanks?
Rice: Remember the Runaway Bride, the female that textile so swamped near everything that she departed her husband- to- be at the altar, ran away to New Mexico and faked her own kidnapping?.
Cheney: So when belongings got tough, she newly ran away in the at peace of nighttime. Is that it?
Rice: That\\'s it.
Cheney: Finally! Something we can use. Bring her in, Condi.
Bush: I\\'ve ever likeable New Mexico. Lots of dead trees and bushes. What do you think, Dick? \\'Bush and Cheney\\'s Brush Clearing Service. No job too teensy.\\'
Cheney: Unless it\\'s in the Middle East.
Bush: That\\'s not funny! Although it power labour for the correspondents\\' meal...
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